What’s Been Happening…

First things first… I got married to an amazing woman, and look forward to spending the rest of my life with her.  The wedding was beautiful, and sweet, and even funny at times.  It was such an honer to be supported by so many people I have known throughout my life.  I had elementary friends, high school friends, college friends, adult friends, and relatives all in attendance, and in support of the union.  Thank you all for being a friend to me.

The wedding was 15 days ago, and I have spent 2 nights in my bed.  The honeymoon took us to Florida, and then one night at home, followed by a week of taking a group of kids to church camp for a week.  Then one more night at home.

While I was at camp, I sparked a conversation with a youth-minister intern.  He is working at a congregation in a fairly large city, in which there are two Churches of Christ (shocking… I know).  The other congregation within the city employs a dear friend of mine.  So, before I tell you about this conversation, Let’s make sure we have all our facts in order.  Two congregations, one city, both are Churches of Christ, not only by name, but by “non-denomination” and belief.  Members at both congregation are “slaves to righteousness” (Romans 6) both are devoted to the teachings of Christ (Acts 2:42) both worship a God of Peace (1 Cor. 14:33) both are “One body with many parts”  (1 Cor 12) both are Christians… the list could go on and on.  Anyway, back to the conversation.  Without letting the intern know that I was friends with the minister at the other congregation, I asked him if he was familiar with the %#@*^$*^%#& Church of Christ. He answered with a nod of the head and a look as though the name should not even be mentioned in public.  I proceed to ask “what are they like?”  And the very first thing he says is they are like the XXXXXXX CHURCH OF CHRIST (another large congregation) and asks if I have ever been there.  I say no, and he says “Well, they do all kinds of things that…uh… scripture says not to do”  I said “Like what”  he says “EVERYTHING, clapping hands and all that”  I nod my head and said “Oh, ok” He then says this… he actually says this… “I’ve never been, that’s just what I heard.”

I was speechless, needless to say that was the end of the conversation.  Now, you may not be as appalled about this as I am, but that might be what the problem is.  Yes, this type of thing happens everyday.  I don’t care if you have the “steps to salvation” printed on the side of your church van, who do you think you are gossiping about other parts of the body of Christ.  I don’t put all the blame on this poor intern who has been there for a month and a half, and has ALREADY been told what goes on at another congregation in such a negative and condemning manner.  When did “I was raised” become more important than “The Bible says”?  The instrumental music and hand-clapping issue has been a debate for years and years, and has now became a mole hill, with the mountain being how we treat our brothers and sisters.

Where do we go from here?  Are there apologies necessary, repentance, confession, a new area-wide drive for unity within the church?  Do we simply stop hating other Christians, even over issues about what we like or don’t like instead of whats wrong and right.  Do we follow the Bible instead of the people who have a vendetta?  Wow… I didn’t mean to sound that sarcastic.

“pornography”… not a cuss word

I am a people person. I talk to numerous people everyday. My mind and my body stays busy with my job, my little league team, and my wife-to-be, planning a wedding and honeymoon etc. I have to remember dates, times, places, and all the things that people say that are important. I like to stay focused, and I like to have a plan. I can’t let one aspect of my life interfere with another in a negative way.

The reason I said all that is to set the scene for something I just CAN’T get off my mind.

Sometime around the middle of February, I was asked to speak at a youth gathering in South, AL. I was also scheduled to preach the very next week here, at Broad Street on Sunday morning for a “Keep in touch” weekend. I had already began preparing fro “Keep in Touch” and I had done enough digging to discover that the pornography industry is one of the largest industries in the world. As a Christian, a youth minister, and a concerned possible parent one day, this presents a serious problem, a conflict of interest if you want to call it that. I read somewhere that “porn leads to secrets, and secrets lead to lies” so I take this issue pretty seriously.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. The pornography issue was a component of what I was to speak on at Broad Street, and since I had done research on the numbers end of the porn industry, I figured I could incorporate it into my lesson for the area-wide youth event. As it turns out, I had a meeting with the elders and minister before I spoke about a possible job opportunity serving as the youth minister for this congregation. I had no idea that this would be a job opportunity, nor was I necessarily interested. So, I went, did my lesson (which had references to, among many other things, the problem of pornography) on being honest with yourself and with God, which can then lead to confession and repentance, and then being a leader in your unique way for the sake of God’s Kingdom.

About a month passes by, and I get a phone call that I couldn’t answer at the time from my friend, the minister at the congregation. He didn’t leave a voicemail, but the next day I returned his call. I asked him how things were going down there with the church, and he says they hired a youth minister. I was happy to hear that and I wished them the best. He proceeds to tell me that some people were upset that I spoke about pornography.

I can’t get this off my mind. I don’t care about the job. But what I do care about is how naive some people are. What is the line that I crossed? Who made this line? Who is the judge of this line? Growing up around “church” people, I have heard the term “salvation issue” hundreds if not thousands of times. It is always in reference to music, or baptism, or something like that. Why do people get bothered by serious salvation issues. Maybe this is the problem with the church. We worry about what songs other people sing, or how other people dress, or what translation other people use. WAKE UP! Salvation comes from Jesus alone. If people get bothered this much by the mention of pornography, it makes it easy to see why Christians are having such a hard time reaching our influence potential. We can’t even get along. Smaller groups such as homosexuals and atheists are having a greater impact on todays world than Christians are. This is mind-boggling and somewhat depressing.

If you are more interested on the impact pornography is having on society and your own children, here’s a website to check out. An example of what you will find – the average age a child first views pornography is… 11

http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html

The “ups & downs”…

“Life is not bias!”  I see evidence if this more and more everyday.  Whether it is family, money, relationships, sports, work, etc. there will be ups and downs.  In sports, we call the “downs” a slump.  In our family and relationships, we might call it a “rough patch”, with money its called “things are tight”, at work it might be a “slow month” or something along those lines.  It seems like everytime something like this happens, it will happen twice, or three times and we quickly lose hope and label it a disaster.  Optimism can play a significant role to help us through tough times, but so can its’ counterpart and it is easy to become negative and pessimistic.  Last week, just in one week, I received bad news three-fold.  The first was one of my best friends in the world was in the Dominican leading a sping break mission trip for FHU.  He filled in because of a late cancellation by someone else.  While they were down there, he experienced what he called one of the best weeks of his life until an incident made it the worst week of his life. Close to the end of the trip, he and a couple of the FHU student missionaries were swimming in the ocean on the beautiful beaches of the D.R. There were large waves and a hefty undertow.  One of the waves crashed over the swimmers, and they all came back to the top except for one.  He happened to be about ten feet away from my friend before the wave came.  His body has still not been recovered.  The second bad news is about another friend.  A friend here in Lagrange who is an avid doubles tennis player.  I don’t know the exact details, but last Saturday he played in a doubles tennis tournament.  Around 9 that evening, his doubles partner was involved in an automobile accident in which he lost his life.  The third bit of new is a little closer to my heart, and I don’t feel like sharing it right now.  The point of all this is that it doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done, how old you are, or any of that.  Life does not pick and choose and there are no guarantees.  I pray for the loss of those two families, and I hope that they grieve thoroughly and then are able to celebrate the life of their loved ones. 

What in the world…???

Just recently I started a new “program” on Sunday nights for the youth.  The concept is simple.  We shut ourselves in the classroom and discuss… that’s all.  The only rule is that the conversation must remain Biblically centered, with an emphasis on personal spiritual growth and personal evangelism, and then end the session with a group prayer, focusing on the topics and issues covered.  Long-term, I would like to see the “Sunday Nite Sit Down” expand to the younger adults in the congregation, for the purpose of guidance when making the transition from adoloscence to adulthood.  The main topic this past Sunday was the wrath of God.  I made the statement “If you just look around you, and see what is on tv, hear what is on the radio, watch how people treat each other, and look at the general direction that society is headed… and wonder how much of this is pleasing to God… how happy do you think God is with what “we” have done with His creation”?  One girl replied with, “If I were God, I wouldn’t be happy and I would just destroy everything…” 

This really hit home for me on a personal level.  I was thinking the same thing she was.  This is obviously grounds for concern.  It is apparent that things are not necessarily the way they were intended to be from the beginning.  When is it going to be too much.  When is God going to get so fed up that he decides to destroy everything.  He’s done it before hasn’t He.  He said He’s gonna do it again didn’t He?  Maybe this whole idea is a bit dark and scary to us.  I don’t want to think about it all the time.  I’m not excited about God’s promise to destroy the world, but that doesn’t really matter.  As a family, church, congregation, and Christian, what is the next step before God gets fed up?

Nothin Much

I haven’t written on here in a good while, so I figured today was as good a day as any.  I feel like things only get tougher as time goes by as far as my ministry is concerned.  I worry about the youth group often.  I sleep about 7 hours a night, leaving 17 “awake” hours, and about 15-16 of those are spent thinking, planning, scheming, worrying, and/or praying for the youth group.  I know things get difficult, and tempations constantly surround every teenager.  I know this because I remember.  I also remember how much easier it is to fall into the trap of temptation than to stand up for what we know is right, true, and just.  For the most part, my classes over the past few weeks have dealt with the fruits of the spirit in Galations 5 and how to apply this to your life, expecially by being kind to others, and dealing with issues in a gentle way.  Last night, it hit me.  These kids know what is right and what is wrong.  They know not to curse or use God’s name in vain.  They know not to have pre-marital sex.  They know not to abuse their bodies with chemicals such as alcohol and/or cigarettes.  They know the proper way to treat people.  Sometimes they may not know why or even how to do these things.  I think I have been missing the head of the nail.  Instead of telling and teaching what is right and wrong, I think I should teach why things are right, and how to avoid temptation.  I am openly asking for input, whether from a parent, minister, or teenager about paths to take.  I am going to have to dig within myself, and find a reason to have a strong faith that I can then relay to these kids.  I could share past personal experiences or read testimonials from somewhere else, and maybe that will click with them.  If it doesn’t, where do I go from there?

I don’t see this as merely the next challenge, or part of a job description.  I see this as a chance to make a difference, on behalf of the Lord.

Generation “Ugly Duckling”

My job, as a youth minister, is to minister to teenagers.  In those terms, it does not sound that difficult or stressful.  I’ll put it in different terms, for the sake of conversation… My job, as a youth minister, is to promote a concept (Christianity) that is being pushed out of schools, government, and workplaces at a steadily increasing rate, based on a Being (God) that is accepted by less than half of our population, and a decision (commitment, baptism, etc.) that is viewed by peers as “taking all the fun out of life”.  Not only that, I’m supposed to be ministering to a generation that is viewed by many older generations as ungrateful, selfish, hopeless, lazy, got-it-too-easy, bunch of punk kids.  I will take this challenge head-on. Every day, I interact with these kids in various forms and environments ranging from school lunches to text message conversations, and from Bible studies to basketball games.  The reason I am willing to accept this challenge is because I have seen the inside of the “ugly-duckling”.  I have a view that few people get to see.  You don’t have to be a youth-minister to see it.  You don’t necessarily see it if you are a youth minister, and it took me a while to see it.  It seems that every generation believes that they are the last generation that had it “rough back in their day”.  I guess because we have electricity and don’t have to walk to school in the snow, it is easier to make all the important decisions in life.  The youth of today are going to surprise everybody!  The kids I know have hearts made of pure gold, and they will change the world…the WORLD.  Of course, they all have their short-comings, but in a nut-shell, everyone has the same story. We all make and have made bad decisions, and if we are fortunate enough to live through them, eventually a lesson will be learned.  What I believe is going on right now with todays teenagers is that they are learning lessons fast, and then using what they’ve learned as an advantageous tool.  I am 25 years old, well 25 and a half, and I finished high school seven and a half years ago.  What was your reaction (please comment), was it “Wow, that’s 3/4 of a decade” or was it “Only seven years ago?”  I believe that most older people will have chosen the latter, simply by comparing it to their adult-life-span, instead of thinking what it was like seven and a half years ago.  Less than 20% of high school students had cell phones, and half of those were analog phones in a bag.  I-pods were non-existent.  Gas was between $1.01-$1.19.  You think the War in Iraq is big news, back then the country was in the middle of a crisis…the Clinton-Lewinsky debacle.  Seems like a long time ago, and a lot has changed.  My point is that it doesn’t take very long for things to change, and to fall “out-of-touch” with the way things are as a teenager in a crazy world.  The worst thing that can happen to a young soul is that they are looked down upon for having the misfortune of being born 50, 20, or even 7 1/2 years after you.  In First Timothy, “Tiny Tim” is told by the great evangilist Paul, to not let anyone look down on him just because he is a little bit younger.  In order to leave an impact as a generation, we all must be responsible for changing with time , and accepting the generation of today.  It is impossible to literally be stuck in time, dwelling on what it was like when you were 14, no matter how old you are.  If we do not change with time, then the impact we leave on the next generation will be negatively consequential.  How do we “change with time”?  Well, I believe we acheive this by holding up as a church on the other end of Paul’s words of encouragement and not look down upon someone just because they are younger.  And please don’t misunderstand this, but the church changes with generations as well.  Our job, once we become a Christian, is to “go” into all the world.  This is what our commitment is, right?  I think we’ve wasted enough time, as a church, trying to change things to suit our wants, whether it is sticking to the way things were 20, 30, 40 years ago, or trying to make everyone worship in your own idea of a “fun” way.  Encourage the young and help them see what being a Christian means.  Worship is for God.  The church is a bride of Christ.  Communion is a memorial service, or funeral.  Fellowship is meant for “good, clean fun”.  And all other energy for God should be focused on prayer and growing the Kingdom of God.

“The Holidays”

Well, as it is with a large portion of America, this is my favorite time of the year, the last month and a half of 2007.  Some of the things I enjoy the most are packed into these 6 or so weeks, from thanksgiving to new years.  I enjoy hunting, thanksgiving with my family, christmas with my family and girlfriend’s family, watching college and pro football, and of course thinking about and being considerate of less fortunate people.  A great emphasis is placed on selflessness this time of year, and some choose to be moved by this emphasis, and act on their “good-nature” and give gifts to needy children, or loose change to the salvation army.  I think this is wonderful that so many people are going out of their way to help less fortunate people.  I also think that it is shameful that so many are not.  This year, my “volunteer time” has been given to a project for the “Big Brother/ Big Sister” program.  I personally do not have a “little brother” in this program, but I helped with building the float for the Christmas Parade (the float won 1st place out of 100 floats).  This may seem petty or superficial, but the experience of working with people I was familiar with, but didn’t really know was valuable to me.  We have an elderly member at our church who is heavily involved with this program, and through this float project, we became better friends, literally, even though there is 40 or so years difference in our D.O.B’s.  We will also be caroling at the nursing home, which is always a dreaded event, but the good conscience, and “pure” feeling you have after you leave always seems to make it not only “not that bad” but an actual positive experience. 

We all will receive nice gifts, and give nice gifts, but there is and will be a bigger picture.  In my young adult life, I have come to realize that spending time with family, getting to know people that you may have never had time or made time to get to know, and making other people smile through charitable means is what will be cherished in our memories.  I can barley remember what I got for Christmas last year.  After all, this is all basically a birthday celebration for the greatest “Man” to ever walk the earth…What do you think He would ask for on His birthday???

When we are stained

Recently, I have been building and expanding a “lunchroom” program for the kids at Broad Street.  It began as a “youth” program, involving lunch with each teenager, twice a year.  I would go to the school that the child attends at the appropriate time and sit with them while they ate.  I would talk about academic standings, relationship interests, teachers they like or…don’t necessarily approve of, and briefly touch on “church stuff” and the well-being of the youth group and individuals.  The program was then extended to include what we call at Broad Street, “PoWeRkIdS”, meaning all the children attending school, but not yet to middle school.  I didn’t think I would enjoy that as much, but, as it turns out, the younger kids are much more enthusiastic about me being there for lunch.  They have a lot more to talk about, and you can watch how they interact with you and their friends with no shame, no dread of having a “church” person there.  This prompted my thinking cap, and I began wondering why a 3rd grader is happy to have a non-family church-goer visit, and be eager to introduce you to their friends… compared to a 10th grader who is a little ashamed, or concerned about my presence there.  When I’m introduced as “This is Daniel, we go to church together” by a 3rd grader, it gives a sense of ”humble pride”, but when an 11th grader introduces me as “This is Daniel…he’s my youth minister”, it sounds more like a heads up, letting people know to watch what they say, or how they act for a little bit, until I’m gone at least.  I know, I know. Things shouldn’t be that way.  Quite honestly, I was in high school before, and I can see where they might be coming from, but that is not exactly the question I am pondering.  What I’m concerned with is what happens between the ages of 9 or 10 qnd 14 or 15.  I don’t have exact figures, but the majority of kids that grow up in the church accept Christ through baptism at this age.  I was baptized when I was eleven, as were a good many of my friends at approximately this age.  Why does it seem that becoming a Christian may have a “reverse effect” on teenagers, making them scared, timid, concerned, or ashamed of what people may think when they find out they are involved in church, or even have someone from church visiting them in school.  Is the blame on the parents? Is the blame on me? Is the blame on the schools?  Well, with every question, there must be an answer.  The responsibility, once you are a Christian, is on nobody other than yourself.  If I was to be ashamed of the gospel, who could I blame it on?  I believe that this is a message that should be reenforced to our teenagers, or even adults.  The accountability is ours once we become a Christian, once we are stained with sin, and then cleansed.  The hard part is, not only should we not be ashamed of what we believe in, but we should attempt to limit what we are ashamed of to nothing, even in the presence of God.  We walk a narrow road that has many obstacles, nonetheless, it still must be walked.  We cannot be carried by our ministers, elders, or friends.  It is not their responsibility.  Helping you get back on this road is one thing, but it cannot be traveled for you.  Think about this concept, any helpful info or opinion would be appreciated.

One quick little story… I ate lunch with one 2nd grader a couple weeks ago.  His dad happened to be eating with him the same day because he was “student of the week”.  Anyway, he and about 4 or 5 of his friends sat with us on chicken taco day.  One of the side items was a cup of salsa.  All the kids dared one of the boys to eat the whole cup of salsa.  He took a little sip, gaagged a little bit, and drank his chocolate milk. (salsa and choc. milk… i would’ve quit there).  He then proceeded to lift the cup of salsa about 5 inches above his mouth, but because of the thick chunky texture, the salsa remained in the cup for5 or 6 seconds, while we all stared in silent awe.  Then it dropped, and I believed the first thing it touched was his tonsils and uvula.  I thought regurgitated chicken taco was about to redecorate my jeans… but somehow he held on to it.  After about 30 seconds of gagging, coughing, and watery eyes, he finished off his chocolate milk to wash down the remains of the salsa… Then looked around at everybody giggling and immediately joined in on the laughter.

Following the Leader, the Leader…

Leadership.  This is one of the main themes I have been trying to implant in the minds of the teens I work with.  I mention it in class at least every other week, I do little devos on it, and I believe it is one of the most important attributes within each Christian.  God blessed some people with the ability to lead, and some…don’t have as much of that blessing.   I want these young adults to believe in themselves, and their ability to lead, even if the only leadership you display is a good example to anyone watching.  This means giving your heart to God, and letting your life be guided by him, and knowing that there is no other option in the way we live our life.  People will see that, people will notice that.  You are being who you are and who God made you to be.  You are not buying into the life of material pleasures and obsessing over how other people view your appearance.  You will not be sad or upset or offended if you are not invited to a party when someone’s parents go out of town.  You will find joy and peace in the real things of this world, the eternal things.  You will be content with your income, your family, your friends, your life, and your eternity.  It seems so simple to say, and sounds like a flawless plan.  Live for Christ and be happy, or live for this world and be sad and angry.  I grew up in central Mississippi, going to Sardis Lake Christian Camp from 1993 to 1999.  Around 1995 I met one of the most beautiful people in this world.  She was older than me, and very attractive.  I didn’t have too big of a crush on her, but she was nice and would talk and associate with younger kids (such as myself) as if we were regular ol’ friends.  We had the same group of friends, and would run into each other occassionally, usually 4 or 5 times a year at a youth rally or some other kind of church function, and one time at an airport.  I don’t remember why we were at the airport at the same time, but this is my fondest memory of the late Heather Spencer.  We saw Miss Oregon walking down the terminal with her gaudy sash on.  It may not seem like that big of a deal, but now she is gone.  She was murdered by her boyfriend a few weeks ago.  This is an example of the world we live in.  It can do nasty things to beautiful things and beautiful people.  This, as Christians is what we are up against.  This is our enemy, our archrival.  How do we fight this world.  We lead.  We direct people to the path that strays away from  evil.  We are supposed to be bringing as many people out of destruction and despair, but as we all know too well, it is a constant struggle to keep yourself on the path constantly, not to mention our lost friends and family.  Is sitting in a pew a couple hours each week and praying for the lost an adequate attempt to fulfill the commission God has given to us? 

First Blog

I’m new to this. I rarely even read other people’s blogs. I look at my dad’s about once a month or so, and read the reviews and critiques, but other than that, this is a whole new world. I hope somehow people will find this, read it, and even reply. Everyone has a blog, therefore a lot of people must be interested in them. My name is Daniel Kirkendall and I am the full-time youth minister at Broad Street Church of Christ. I have about 14 teenagers who regularly attend, but my wednesday class usually has between 16 and 20. Right now, we are in the third week of a series entitled “God’s Plan for You and Me.” The first week, we focused on the fact that God indeed does have a plan for each one of us, if we use our faith to follow where he leads us. The second week dealt with our passion for things that benefit the Kingdom of Heaven, and how individually we can make some kind of difference, based on our “core values.” It amazed me how skeptical some of the teenagers were when they heard that they can have an impact on behalf of God and his Kingdom. It was somewhat disheartening to hear this, and to see how a large percentage of Christian teenagers have settled with the fact that they can and will float through life without committing completely to anything, and as long as they are “good people” God will accept them, and that will suffice. This is the whole idea behind what we are learning, and I feel at this time it is my job (not just as a YM, but as a soldier for Christ) to inform these kids that God has wired values, gifts, and passions inside each heart and to pursue and commit to these inspirations so that great work may be done. I asked them what they believe their gifts and values are, and although they lack maturity and inspiration in most cases, they were honest, and answered “I don’t know!” There are exceptions…One girl said she wanted to devote her life to overseas missions and focus on children. I applaud her. But typically, it seems, these kids suffer from the effects of an evil and broken world, and accept situations the way they fall as opposed to fighting evil and hatred to proclaim what God has done and can do in their life here on earth. I hope and pray for each one of these kids and I humbly ask that whoever reads this will do the same. I believe my job is difficult, stressful, and very important. I don’t know how to measure success as a youth minister, but I know that God does and I hope He is happy with me and the teenagers of the Broad Street Church of Christ!